We are the Wedding Speech Specialists...
Congratulations! You have been given the poisoned chalice that is the role of Best Man. While this does come with some advantages (single bridesmaids, a free meal/bar, a bachelor party where the matrimonial lemming is taught a few valuable lessons before he takes his final leap over the precipice to marriage) it also has its downsides.
You now have to arrange the bachelor party ,get involved in the wedding preparations, attempt to get the groom to the venue on time, in one piece and looking half decent but worst of all you have to write and deliver THAT toast. A speech of such epic comedic proportions that your name will be mentioned alongside Bill Hicks, Jay Leno and George Bush Jnr. That won't offend the bride or the groom’s mad Aunt Doris and result in you being forcibly removed from the building by the bride's brothers while her stone faced mother gives you the evil eye.
"The best 10 dollars I've spent all year you guys totally saved my a**!!! Great Job guys"
"Everyone said it was the best, best man's speech they ever heard. Long live simply the best man!" Andre - NY